Today I will have my second meeting with the dietician. (Read about my first one here!) She was exactly right when she said I would experience a drop in momentum after the first few days. I have had plenty of ups and downs since our initial meeting three weeks ago.
My mom and my best friend have been extremely helpful, eating with me when possible and accompanying me to the grocery store (I HATE grocery shopping. I mean I absolutely loathe the very thought and will avoid it with the most ridiculous excuse). However, I definitely feel like I would benefit from more structure when it comes to meal settings.
I’m going to ask the dietician for a meal plan today. Living alone, it is extremely difficult to prepare balanced meals. My perceptions are distorted and I don’t know what a healthy portion looks like.
Trying to measure healthy portions when you have an eating disorder is a lot like trying to find your glasses when you don’t have them–you can’t really see what you’re doing and fumble around on the kitchen floor (this has actually happened to me in both contexts).
I remember sitting in on a panel at the NEDA conference last year and the dieticians there said some patients benefit from more structure while others prefer flexibility. I think I’m a structure girl, and that’s okay. Trusting someone else–who has extensive practice in treating EDs, of course–will take a lot of the pressure off of me. It will be difficult, no doubt, but that’s part of the deal. I
believe know I can do it if I really give it my all.
Now I have set my intention for the day. Here’s to hoping I’m not being overly-ambitious. 😛
Featured image via Unslpash.com