It’s only Tuesday but it’s been an incredible Spring Break so far. No trip to the beach, no crazy nights out; just a few good days in a row: a much needed relief from the past six months.
When I was driving into my hometown the other day to kick off Spring Break, it felt like I was waking up. Like the first breath after coma (to borrow from Explosions In The Sky).
We’ve had almost no snow in Kentucky this winter. Many people are saying we didn’t have a winter at all. Perhaps the weather has been remarkably mild but it has definitely felt like winter to me. I spent this season of my life feeling cold and isolated, like I was hiding in a cave, staring at the world outside but not really being part of it.
Thankfully, this feeling is finally coming to an end, as all feelings inevitably do. Even the bad times can’t last forever. My mantra through these dark days has been “keep going,” and I’m so glad I did because things are looking up.
I can see a little more clearly now how everything connects. In the middle, things were messy and it felt like I was blindly floating through with no end in sight.
If there’s no end in sight, maybe it’s not over yet. Keep going.
Only two more months until graduation and then it’s on to a whole new book. I’m sad that most of my senior year was lost to relapse. Time is one of the very few things in this life that can never be recovered. I wish I could have enjoyed this time more fully. I guess this can be a lesson in self-forgiveness to go along with that self-love thing I was talking about.
Two more months. These next two months are mine and just because I lost the last six to the monsters in my head doesn’t mean I have to forfeit the remainder. I’m going to own them and not let anorexia, depression or anxiety steal them away from me.
Spring is coming and new life with it. The mountains are getting green again and the sky is a little bit brighter. So am I.
Featured image by Jerzy Gorecki via Pixabay.