Last night, Mom made a taco salad for dinner. It was delicious! In fact, it was so good that I actually had to take a picture of it (yes, I was one of those people). As I sat there enjoying my dinner, blissfully ignorant to the calorie count, I had to smile at how far I’ve come. I’m so glad I stopped letting my eating disorder dictate my life.
Breaking up with my ED has given me the freedom to do so many things. I can go out with my friends for frozen yogurt. I can put as much ketchup on my baked potato as I want (try it). I can have as many servings of Cheerios as I want. I don’t have to check the clock for permission to have lunch.
But the freedom goes beyond all of that. I wake up feeling happy to be alive. I savor the simple joy of breathing sweet oxygen into my lungs. I have the energy to do the things I love. My mind is no longer a prison. I allow myself to go places, meet people, and try new things. This year, I have already met so many great people at college, the pageant, and Higher Ground. And it’s only spring! People don’t see an unapproachable sick girl when they look at me anymore. They see a young lady radiant with life.
All of this begs the question, where would I be right now had I not chosen recovery? I’ll never know. What I do know is I wouldn’t be here…and there is no place I’d rather be.
Don’t forget to remember the little things, like being able to eat your mama’s scrumptious taco salad without a side of guilt. Recovery is so extravagantly beautiful. And so are you.
When I first heard this song, I thought about “breaking free” from my ED. This one’s for you, Ana. Tacky intro, poor grammar and everything. 😉