6 Months of Recovery!

Yesterday was a very important and special day: as of January 18th 2015, I have successfully achieved 6-months of remission! 😀 **DANCE PARTY** I celebrated by treating myself to a little shopping spree at one of my favorite stores, Forever 21. It felt so good! I bought clothes that were soft and comfortable, but still fabulous of course. I will admit going into the fitting room was a bit daunting at first, but I remained strong. When I tried something on that was a little too tight, I simply told myself that the clothes were the wrong size—not me. And only now am I realizing that it really is that simple. I have come such a long way in the past 6 months. I marked my official recovery start date on June 18th, 2014. That was the day I left for Chicago. The day before, I symbolically left a lot of stuff on top of one of the mountains in Kentucky (photo here). Going to Chicago saved my life. It gave me a fresh start and renewed hope. My dad really set me on the right path. I can remember being so intimidated by the food he prepared for me, and how scary it was just to sit down and eat with him. It was really overwhelming at first, but I finally let go of many of the deadly habits that I held on to for so long. Even though I had to return to Kentucky, I did not come back the same. I was still struggling, no doubt, but I had won the first round. Chicago gave me the jumpstart I needed. When I look back at where I was less than a year ago, I see a world of difference! I can remember being too weak to pedal a bicycle, having bald spots because my hair was so brittle, and not being able to sleep at night because of the pain of my hips bones protruding through my skin. I remember isolating myself from friends and family, constantly obsessing over food and calories. It was a nightmare! Now, here I am today, only a few months away from graduating with my associate’s degree! I have closer relationships with my friends and family than ever before, I’m no longer a slave to the scale, and I just feel so much better these days. There are so many things that I want to do in the future, and now I can because I chose to let go. I feel….free. I want to thank all of you, precious readers, for encouraging me to keep getting stronger every day. I must admit that I’ve had quite a few down days lately, but every time I start to get discouraged or feel like I’m going backwards, I remember you. The comments that you leave me mean so much, especially when I read that my story has inspired someone else. Thank you so much for all of your support. Here’s to 6 months remission! Let’s make it to a year. Can’t wait to see what happens between now and then.  Eating disorders are not a choice, but recovery is, and it’s one of the best decisions I have ever made. If you are struggling with an ED right now, I encourage you to take that first step towards recovery. It’s worth it. Recovery is beautiful, and so are you.

July 18, 2015. The day I chose recovery. <3
July 18, 2014. The day I chose recovery. ❤

15 thoughts on “6 Months of Recovery!

    1. Thanks for reading, Judy! Yeah, I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. Nobody really knew until I started this blog. But if my story can help somebody else beat their ED, I’m happy to share it! Love you bunches! ❤

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  1. IM so ptroud of youAnnie .I ttear up when I read your posts,but im so glad to see how strong you are . Im here for you you know that .I love you so very much and want nothing more than your healing.Keep it up sweetie ! YOU ARE A OVER COMER!!!

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  2. Angela, I am so proud of you! I did not know you had ED but I do know you are an amazing, beautiful young Christian woman. You always have that sweet smile that lights up my life each time I see you. Thank you! The Lord has touched your life so you can touch others. I am looking for greater and better things to happen in your life. Love you and praying for you! 🙂

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  3. Came across your blog today after watching your “Scale Smash” video on Proud2Bme. You are awesomesauce! 🙂 I am also recovering from AN; will be following your blog now. I’ve got it bookmarked! We’re in this together! ❤

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    1. Thank you so much, Kait! 😀 I am honored that you are following my blog. Every time I find out that I have been a little inspiration to someone else, it makes my own struggles all seem worth it. Stay strong, stay beautiful! You can–WILL–beat your ED!

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  4. Annie, how did you stop or what happened exactly that perhaps I could somehow recreate for my “friend” who is going through the same thing? How did you start to turn around? What kind of counseling worked or therapy or rehab worked for you? I know everyone is different but my sweet friend may be put into a rehab facility soon because counseling has not worked. What steps did you take and what finally took hold and why?

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    1. Hello Lynn! Thank you so much for reading. I’m sorry to hear about your friend.
      –The big thing that really sent me over the edge to recovery was when I found a reason to WANT to recover. At my lowest point, I was very sick. I didn’t care what happened to me. I think my eating disorder stemmed from a deep-rooted (and well hidden) depression. I finally realized that I had nothing to lose by going after what my heart wanted. For me, that was moving away from the small town I grew up in and building a healthy relationship with my father who lived 500 miles away. I was afraid to do that for too long. It literally came down to “do or die,” so I dove in. I dropped everything and went for it. That was when my whole world changed. As soon as I saw that the life I wanted was within my reach, I knew that the only way I could achieve it was if I kicked my ED once and for all. I wanted to LIVE.
      –As with recovery from any addiction, it comes down to wanting it–for yourself. Not for your doctors, or your therapist, or anyone else. Of course, having that support is vital. I couldn’t have done it without my care team. I still see a therapist regularly, and I saw a nurse practitioner and dietitian throughout the weight restoration process.
      Ultimately, the decision must be your friend’s. It has to come from his/her heart and soul. As his or her friend, perhaps the best thing you can do is encourage them. Help them find the “why.”
      –A few other key things that helped were journaling, meditation, throwing away my scale, and no more counting calories.
      –Also worth mentioning: as I recovered, I got in touch with my spiritual self. I believe that God has a special purpose for all of us, and as long as there is life in my veins, I have a responsibility to live up to that purpose. Philippians 4:13 got me through a lot.
      –I hope this helps in some way! Please get back to me and let me know. I wish you both the best.
      xoxo, Annie

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